Irrational Fear? - Allison Redmond

Irrational Fear? No.

By Allison Redmond   

I would venture to say that everyone has some sort of phobia that they struggle with. The fear of heights, spiders, snakes, or tight spaces are just a few. Some come from traumatic life events, and others can’t be explained. The phobia I struggle with is Coulrophobia, the fear of clowns. I have been terrified of clowns ever since I was a baby.

This fear first developed in my life from a traumatic event when my parents were attending a convention. As part of the convention, a clown troupe was performing and one of the clowns knew my parents. My dad was holding me and the clown came up behind my dad to surprise him. As soon as I saw him I began screaming in horror, and I have never been the same.

This same man came to visit our church in Concordia a few years ago. Thankfully, he was not dressed up as a clown. However, as soon as I saw him, I wasn’t sure who exactly he was, but I knew that I recognized him and had some sort of negative memory associated with him. This was a good sixteen years after the initial incident, but I was still terrified. I began to hyperventilate in the middle of our church fellowship area. Eventually, my dad reintroduced me to him, I calmed down, and I figured out that he is actually a really nice guy.

Some people think that it is funny to tease me about my fear. By this, I mean dressing up as a clown and scaring me, saying, “Hey, Allie! Look at this picture on my phone!” and instead showing me a picture of a clown, or many other creative, horrific ways. IT’S NOT FUNNY. They simply do not understand.

So the moral of the story is that this is actually a serious phobia of mine. If you use this fear against me just to get a good laugh, I will cry. It has happened before. So please, save me the emotional turmoil, and yourself the guilt of making me cry, because it’s not worth it.

Cool & Fun Halloween Costumes - Connor Reynolds

Cool Halloween Outfits/Costumes

By Connor Reynolds

Every year on October 31st the spirit of Halloween is reawakened. We get to dress up, hoard lots of candy, scare people and even pull pranks. Each year though we see those same costumes: zombies, witches, hobos, football players, ghosts and cowboys. Here are some cool and different ideas for people of all ages. Use ideas from this blog and you’ll be the coolest adult at your kid’s Halloween party or the coolest person at a normal party. I don’t really know you, so just keep doing what you want to do.

#1. The Transformer

This can be a great (but expensive) costume for anyone. You won’t have the hassle trying to drive somewhere; you just roll up in this awesome costume, transform and get your candy and leave or in the famous words of Optimus Prime, “Autobots, Roll Out.”

#2. The Silverback Gorilla

You’re at party, but not in a great mood. All you want is that Snickers bar that everyone is getting, but you’re at the back of line. Well, no one is going to fight such a realistic looking 400 lb. ape. So you go ahead and take all those Snickers by force.

#3. Luigi and Mario

Here’s an adorable costume scheme to for little kids or dogs. It’s simple, all you need is overalls, some red and green shirts, drawn on mustaches, and some hats with an “L” and “M”.

#4 Shadow (Black) Morph Suits

This costume set up might make you to spend a little bit more and you’ll need sets of two, but it’s perfect for anyone. So what you have to do is have two people dressing up as the same thing, say football players. They both will wear their football player costume but one will have a black morph suit over his. This will make the person look like a shadow. With the right costume this could turn into a creepy and scary get-up, especially at night.

#5 French Kiss

A great couples costume is the “French Kiss”. No they aren’t just to people making out the whole time. You wear clothing the stereotypical French person wears, a black and white striped shirt, a beret, maybe a scarf if your girl. Then you paint your face with white and black face paint to look like a member of the band KISS.

#6 Mean Girls

A great costume for a group of three girls is dressing up like the popular girls from the movie Mean Girls. Now let me give you some reasons why this a great idea. First, who doesn’t love Mean Girls? (If you don’t I’m going to assume you are crazy.) It’s HILARIOUS! Second, it’s pretty simple, but reason one is the only important reason.

If you get stumped this Halloween keep these cool costume ideas in your head. Because being the person(s) that stands out the most is always enjoyable.

What You Don't Know About Librarians - Mallory Thompson

What You Don’t Know About Librarians

By Mallory Thompson

In my advisory class I work in the library. I also was a library tech last year. During this time there are many things I have noticed about being a librarian.

We eavesdrop on your conversations. Listening to everyone's conversations is how I catch up on what is going on around the school, especially when it is just a few people and me. It is kind of hard not to listen to you talking when it’s the only noise in the library. However, sometimes I don’t want to listen to your conversation. When I was a library tech, it was a good time to get homework done when I wasn’t helping anyone, but when you are being obnoxious and loud it is pretty tough.

When the library gets crazy busy, please tell us what you want. I can not read your mind when you come up to the circulation desk and just stand there. Ask me to recheck your book or tell me you need a Chromebook. When I ask for your name, I have to type it in, so please speak up so I don’t have to ask you, “What?” five times before I can understand you.

Newsflash. We do not memorize every single book in the library. Surprising right? If you want a certain type of book, there are computers for you to look it up. That’s why they are there. When I am busy working the desk I don’t have time to look up a book for you when you are too lazy to do it yourself.

I have also become a pro at unjamming the printer. Everyone seems to think the librarians can fix the printer just because it is in the library. Sometimes it gets hard.

When you ask for book suggestions, please tell me what type of books you like. I will probably have a completely different taste in books than you do, so it’s helpful if you give me an idea of what you like.

Although there are many things to be annoyed about, I love being a librarian and the craziness of it all.  

The Tales of a Benchwarmer - Bryson Johnson

The Tales of a Benchwarmer

By Bryson Johnson

    At a football game there are the starters, who play on offense or defense the entire game. Then there are the players who stand on the sidelines...they just simply stand there.I am one of them. While on the sidelines we are expected to cheer for the team and help them play their best. We encourage them to keep hitting the other team. This may seem easy, but it is really hard to get into the game when you have no chance of playing. SO, while on the sidelines we make our own entertainment. The “entertainment” that we come up with is probably not the most appropriate thing but it keeps us occupied. For instance, if you go to the high school basketball games and you watch Coach Holmes you will notice that he always flings his arms outward and stomps his foot if the basketball players do something wrong. Those movements are the only thing I look forward to at the basketball games.

    Another conversation that happens on the sidelines has to do with Segues. You know; those two-wheeled personal transportation devices?  We imagine all the football players rolling around on the field on Segues and trying to get tackles and blocks.  (It makes me laugh just thinking about it now.)

     Something else that we think is funny is how at the football games last year, Coach Lambert would always throw his hat on the ground and yell. (It was funny until you were the one being yelled at.) Sometimes he would try and throw it again, but it was already on the ground so he would bend down and pick it up and throw it on the ground again:)

    The only time that the sideliners are really into the game is when the score is really close, and sometimes we don’t even pay attention then. The coaches on the sideline always tell us to get it up and cheer and we do….until they walk away and then we go back into our groups and mess around again. Every once in a while when we’re just smoking the other team then they let the players on the sideline play. Then everybody cheers.        

Confessions of a Sandwich Artist - Kayla Dvorak

Confessions of a Sandwich Artist

By Kayla Dvorak

Once upon a time, I worked at the local Subway. For the first two weeks I could barely cut the bread. After about seven months, though, I became kind of a sandwich stud. (Just kidding.) I did have the job figured out fairly well, though. Working there for seven months was quite an experience, so since I no longer work there I’ll share with you my favorite and least favorite aspects of Subway.

Positives:

Free Sandwiches

Every single time you work a shift, even if you have a split shift, you get free food. You can either get a free footlong or a free six inch and your choice of chips or two cookies. It is wonderful.

Comfy Pants

Other than the obvious “don’t wear ratty or revealing clothing to work” rule, I believe the only rule was that our footwear had to be closed-toe and our pants had to be black or khaki. Do you know what that means? That means I wore comfy yoga pants to work every day. Oh, yoga pants are too revealing, you say? No. I was issued a medium shirt that covered my behind, therefore, my butt was never visible.

Nice Coworkers

Most of my friends and family will roll their eyes at this positive aspect, because I worked there with my best friend. Aside from her, though, my coworkers were generally tolerable.

Coworkers Who Were Willing to Switch Shifts

Self-explanatory, really.

Short Shifts

It wasn’t until the last few month that I was considered a professional around there, so I wasn’t given very long shifts. However, I worked quite a few shifts. The hours added up nicely without me having to spend long stretches of time there.

Not Minimum Wage

Subway is the only place I’ve ever worked where I was paid more than $7.25 an hour, and I’ve got to say, it was rewarding.

Negatives:

Bread Smell EVERYWHERE.

It was in my clothes, in my car, in my house. The smell of fresh subs never left my hair. My last day was in the first week of August and I feel like my hair still reeks.

Annoying Customers

I’m not trying to stereotype the elderly of Concordia as clueless when it comes to technology, but man oh man did some of them have issues with our new drive thru. Some would press the speaker and shout at us, “Your drive thru is not working. There is no ham on there.” Umm, yes, there is a ham option on there. You just have yet to find it. Stop yelling at me.

Okay, new stereotypical customer. The, “Add bacon, guacamole, extra cheese, double meat, oh and everything else you have.” These people also had a habit of complaining when I rang up their $15 masterpiece of a sandwich.

There’s the good ole, “Oh, I see that you’ve already put together my sandwich, piled it with veggies, drenched it in sauce, and wrapped it…..but could I add guacamole?” NO.

Little known fact: as you punch in your order on the drive thru, we’re making your food. So, when you ask for a Footlong BMT on Honey Oat, then change your mind- after we’ve added all of your veggies AND the extra mayo you requested- and ask for Italian bread instead, you’re being annoying.

Now, you would not believe the amount of people who come through the drive thru and place an order for a Cold Cut Combo salad, just to delete the entire thing because they meant sandwich.

Free Sandwiches

I’m a very picky eater. Up until the time I started working at Subway, the only sandwich I ever ordered was a Footlong Spicy Italian on Italian bread, with American cheese, no veggies and no sauce. I occasionally asked for a cup of black olives on the side. After about my first month of work there, I would also eat turkey sandwiches. Then I added turkey salads and BLTs on Flatbread to my small menu. As you can guess, I quickly grew tired of all my options. The idea of a turkey sandwich from Subway is nauseating at this point. I’m going to give it a year, and if by then Subway doesn’t become appealing again, I’m going to blacklist the entire restaurant chain.

The Actual Act of Making Sandwiches for a Living

It just kind of made me feel dumb when I thought about it. I would be sitting on my couch watching Grey’s Anatomy, and I would realize I had to be to work in three minutes. Which- in case you control freaks out there are concerned about how irresponsible I am- wasn’t a big deal because I live a block away from Subway. I would get up from my couch and head for the door, so sad that I was going to work and I would think- wait, what’s your problem, Kayla? People are getting shot at or working construction somewhere, and you’re annoyed that you have to go make a couple sandwiches? Get it together. In all fairness, though, knowing that other people had more unpleasant jobs than I did definitely didn’t make my job any more desirable.

The Reasons We Need Pessimists - Connor Reynolds

The Reasons We Need Pessimists

We are always hearing from experts that we should be always positive and happy/optimistic, but there are times when we need that negative person/pessimist.

• When people live in a false euphoria they don’t use logic. A pessimist is someone who is AWARE. They know the world can suck and they can handle it. They’re more practical than you think. They just want everyone to USE LOGIC! There’s no hiding from the truth. We need to stand up and deal with what’s going on. If we can’t do that we’re not helping society.
• Pessimists not only complain about problems but also accept them and deal with them. The world needs these people to be overcomers and problem solvers.
• Pessimists are realistic about their abilities; they know what they can and can’t do. The quote “The time we stop expecting, is the time we start working,” tells that you get done what you need to do by hard work and not by chance.
• Pessimists are the people who expect the worst or just don’t expect anything. That way they are rarely surprised or disappointed.  “Pessimist: One who, when he has the choice of two evils, chooses both.” Oscar Wilde
• A pessimist lives in the present not in the past or the future. They don’t live in the imaginary world of a possible future, but are content with what they have and work to make it better.
• Alone and lonely do not correlate when it comes to pessimists. It’s their choice to be alone and they handle their own problems, unlike an optimist who hasn’t accepted their adversities.

It may seem that pessimists hate life and don’t care about anything, but that’s not true. They, just have another outlook on the world. My teacher shared some quotes with me about pessimists. Included below are my favorites.

“I will be the first to admit that I am a pessimist by nature. It is, after all, the wisest way to be. We pessimists have everything to gain, whereas optimists have a fifty-fifty chance of being disappointed.” 
― Tamar Myers, As the World Churns

“I like pessimists. They’re always the ones who bring life jackets for the boat.” 
― Lisa Kleypas, Christmas Eve at Friday Harbor

“There are moments when everything goes well; don't be frightened, it won't last.” 
― Jules Renard

“A pessimist is a man who looks both ways when he crosses the street.” 
― Laurence J. Peter

All About that Accordion - Allison Redmond

All About that Accordion

By: Allison Redmond

Recently, I found out that I will be inheriting an accordion from my grandfather. Words cannot describe how EXTREMELY EXCITED I am to receive it. I have never before played the accordion, but I am going to do my best to learn. Everyone is probably aware that accordions are used to play polka music (S/O TO TEAM POLKA BUENO), but other than that, I doubt you know much more about the instrument. Therefore, I decided to collect a list of five accordion facts you most likely did not know.

1. The accordion was once believed to be invented in Berlin in 1822, but  earlier prototypes have been found.

2. An accordion was used by the heavy-metal band Korpiklaani. This was really unusual because, like I said earlier, accordions are usually used for polka, folk, or classical music.

3. The accordion has many nicknames, including, the “squeeze box” and “one-man band”.

4. The accordion was originally only used in German polka music, but is now used all over the world.

5. Here is a list of famous people you probably did not know play(ed) the accordion:

-John Lennon

-Billy Joel

-Pete Townshend

-Sheryl Crow

-Steve Urkel

-Weird Al

-Mrs. Applebee

-(And Mr. Morris has always dreamed of playing the accordion.)

SO, if you see me over the next few months, make sure to keep me accountable and ask me if I have been practicing my accordion. Hopefully, I will catch on quickly, and be able to accompany the Chamber Choir by next semester.

*I got all of my accordion facts from http://www.ehow.com/facts_4895988_accordion-facts.html