My Love

By Cody Schmitz

 

Within the food spectrum, there are many foods that I love.

Okay, I probably don’t lovethem. I like peanut butter. I like bananas. I like Nutella. I like breakfast burritos. I like Haagen-Dazs Coffee Ice Cream. I like Jalapeño Cheetos.

I love cheesecake.

Cheesecake is the only food I can honestly say I love.

Cheesecake at its best is a dense yet fluffy, perfect balance of flavor and texture. It seems, however, that the only goal of some people in this world is to ruin the beauty of a good cheesecake.

Yes, I am a cheesecake purist, and yes, I’m right. Here’s exactly how cheesecake should be:

 

New York Style Cheesecake: You can see the dense, creamy texture of the cake. The crust is minimal but still present. The top is lightly browned. It has a full body flavor but not overpowering.

 

Bad Cheesecakes:

 

 

 

Let’s play eye spy: Can you see the cheesecake in this mess? No? That’s right. I don’t know what this monstrosity is, but I know it has the audacity to call itself a cheesecake.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is this jelly? Jelly is on this cheesecake. And look at that texture; you just know it feels like soggy sour cream.

You know what’s the worst? Cheesecake Bars are the worst. Cheesecake bars ruin the sanctity of cheesecake and its perfection. Covered in canned cherries and filled with who-knows-what, cheesecake bars are the epitome of everything wrong in the world.

So to conclude, please, for the sake of the world, keep cheesecake pure. No more “cheesecake” creations. Keep the beauty of cheesecake as God intended.