Why the Grinch Stole Christmas

By Amanda Lawrence

 

 

 

 

     Everyone knows Dr. Seuss’s story How the Grinch Stole Christmas. He dressed as Santa, with his dog Max to guide the sleigh, entered every home in Who Ville, and stole every last item in an attempt to steal Christmas. However, he was shown the true meaning of Christmas the next morning when everyone awakened and celebrated Christmas as planned. This led to the Grinch’s heart growing three sizes. One question that many have wondered is: What made the Grinch hate Christmas? I know, I know. This is explained in Jim Carrey’s How the Grinch Stole Christmas, but I am here to tell you THAT IS NOT WHAT HAPPENED!!! So I now introduce my Christmas story: Why the Grinch Stole Christmas.

As a child, the Grinch was a perfectly normal young boy named Timmy. He loved Christmas very much and spent most of November and all of December focusing on Christmas. He made gifts for all of his friends and family, made a delicious Christmas dinner, and decorated the inside and outside of his house. However, this is where it all went wrong. As Timmy was setting up the outdoor decorations, his father pulled up in the family truck with a new decoration, a blow-up Santa Claus. Timmy quickly began setting up the new decoration and was done in ten minutes. After he admired his fine work, he went to bed because it was Christmas Eve. The next morning, Timmy ran to the window to check for snow because he had been dreaming of a white Christmas. Even though it was a white Christmas, Timmy had no excitement because he was greeted by Santa Claus. Now this may sound like any child’s dream, but this was no ordinary Santa. This Santa was not life-like at all. Instead, it was much larger than life, strangely cartoonish, and upside-down. This sight was absolutely terrifying to a nine-year-old boy and sent Timmy running to his room, unable to explain to his parents what was wrong. Timmy’s parents went to see what it was that had scared him and discovered the blow-up Santa hanging upside down from the roof. The snow had made the roof slick, causing it to tip over and hang from the roof, right over Timmy’s window.

Timmy’s parents entered his room laughing uproariously over the mistake. This, however, only upset Timmy more, at which point he vowed to never enjoy Christmas again. He spent the next twelve years devising a plan to completely ruin and put a stop to Christmas. He had created many plans, but none quite large enough to complete his goal. By the time he was eighteen, he spent his winters shut in his vacation home on Mount Crumpit, right over Who Ville. After his first Christmas of listening to the citizens of Who Ville feasting and singing, he knew that Mount Crumpit would be the place of his plan for Christmas’s demise. It was then that he changed his name to Grinch and got his dog, Max, for a companion to share his plans with. By his twenty-first Christmas, Grinch’s plan was almost complete. The only thing stopping him was a disguise so no one would realize who carried out the plan. With the help of Max, he soon found the perfect disguise. He set to work at the sewing machine and made a green, felt body suit with a mask. He then put a Santa suit on over the felt body suit (while he was no longer afraid of Santa, Grinch now loathed him, making the red-and-white suit the perfect disguise. With everyone thinking it was Santa who ruined Christmas, Grinch would not be blamed and could have his revenge on the jolly, fat man.) He headed in a homemade sleigh to Who Ville, with Max on the lead, to steal everything from those in Who Ville and ruin Christmas forever. And that is why the Grinch stole Christmas.

Of course I can’t end that way, now can I? The Grinch carried out his plan, learned the true meaning of Christmas, returned all that was stolen and his heart grew three sizes. He returned to his home on Mount Crumpit, changed into more festive clothing, and tossed out the green felt suit for good. He returned to Who Ville a changed man, introducing himself as Timmy once again. He never saw another blow-up Santa again and was finally able to live happily ever after, enjoying Christmas once again.

My Christmas Wish List

By Fernanda Santos

 

 

     Here comes Christmas again, with everyone so excited to see relatives that they haven’t seen for the whole year. But let’s be honest- we all have our eyes on the presents, so here is my 2012 Christmas list, which is completely unrealistic, but oh well. A girl can dream right?

1-The new iPhone5

It should be all in white or yellow with small diamonds surrounding it. After all, a girl can never get too much bling.

2- A Chanel bag

Everyone knows the new iPhone don’t fit into back pockets (duh!)

 

3- A boat/island

Because spending the whole summer in only one place is a waste of time. YOLO right?

 

4- A white Christmas

This is just because I’m used to spending my Christmases with every fan and air-conditioner in the house turned on at full power. It would be fun to spend Christmas by a fireplace with comfy clothes for once!

  

5- A kiss under the mistletoe

Yes, because I’m cheesy and I’m a girl. Enough said.

6- All “A”s in school

Come on, I want to make my parents proud too!

7- A hug

But not just any hug. I want a hug from my parents and my sister because they are definitely who I’ll miss the most during the holidays!

New Year's Suggestions

By Siri McGuire

 

 

 

 

     I’ve never really partaken in the whole “New Year’s Resolutions” thing. I mean, let’s be real. How many people actually keep the New Year’s Resolutions that they make? I’m more of a self-reflection-all-year-round kind of gal, though I see how the New Year is a tangible marker of change for some people. However, most resolutions end up being more like suggestions, and are hardly ever carried out (to those of you who have stuck with New Year’s resolutions, kudos). So if I can operate on the basis that these resolutions are suggestions as opposed to mandatory tasks to carry out because I’ve signed away my first born child in blood, I suppose I can come up with a few suggested items of self-improvement for the next year:

Suggestion #1: Feel less stupid in Calculus class. The more I learn in that class, the less I feel like I know about math.

Suggestion #2: Establish whether or not reality is in fact real in Physics class. Some of the data I’ve collected in class points to the negative (discovering objects in free fall accelerating faster than acceleration due to gravity? What?!?!?!), but I still have hope that I’m living in reality and not in some Matrix-like situation. Either that or I should brush up on my lab/ calculation skills.

Suggestion #3: Figure out the meaning of life, the universe, and everything. I’ll get back to you guys on that one… umm… later.

Suggestion #4: Learn how to drive a stick shift without letting up on the clutch too quickly. 90% of all the cursing I’ve done in my life has happened while trying to do this.

Suggestion #5: Make it through senior year without developing senioritis. I’m doing pretty well so far, but come next semester, all bets are off.

Suggestion #6: Stress less about college. We all know this one is a joke, right? Come on guys, it’s me.

Suggestion #7: Successfully balance THREE textbooks on my head while walking through the halls. For those of you who’ve seen me practice this, two really pushes the limit for me right now. Just wait. By the end of next semester, I’ll be gliding around with three. I’m looking to go pro.

Suggestion #8: By this time next year, come up with a less-ridiculous list of self-improvement suggestions. But really. The majority of these are ridiculous.

 

Worst Christmas Present Ever

By Kirstyn Dvorak

     The worst Christmas present I ever received consisted of a portable CD player and a three foot long candy cane when I was seven years old. I’m sure you’re all thinking, “What do you have against candy and music?” The answer to that is nothing. I have absolutely nothing against candy and music. I also have no longing for a portable CD player or a giant peppermint rock, which is why this was the worst Christmas present I ever got. Now, I’m a reasonable person and I know I’m hard to shop for. I’m so hard to shop for that I got shampoo for my birthday one year, but that’s another story. I don’t like telling people what to buy me and I don’t like for people to spend money on me, which resulted in my parents having no clue what to get my seven year old self for Christmas. As a result of their cluelessness, they decided to get me the exact same thing as my sister, who expressed her Christmas wishes very clearly. On Christmas morning my sister and I woke up to find our presents under the tree. They weren’t wrapped because they were from “Santa”, and at first I thought to myself “Why did they get Kayla two of each present?” When I found that there was no other presents from “Santa” under the tree, I recognized the catastrophe that had taken place. Although I was disappointed, I didn’t complain because I knew that I hadn’t actually asked for anything for Christmas, so I should be glad “Santa” even brought me something. I sucked it up, gave Kayla my candy cane, and thanked “Santa” for my new CD player that I couldn’t use because I didn’t own an actual CD. I still think it’s funny that my parents didn’t get either of us a single CD to listen to.

A Christmas to Remember

By Chelsea Martin

It was a beautiful, snowy morning on December 25^th, 2001. I was six years old, and like any child on Christmas morning, I was more than ecstatic to open presents from Santa. Waiting for my brother and sister to wake up was probably the longest 20 minutes of my life. But alas, soon they both woke up and we headed downstairs to see what Santa had brought us.

As a six year old expecting a lot of toys, I wasn’t too impressed with what I was unwrapping. Socks, underwear, shirts, and jeans were what most of my presents contained. What six year old wants clothes?! After we finished opening all of our presents, my mom stood up an announced that there was still a present for each of us outside.

Eagerly, I jumped up and dashed outside as fast as I could in my Teletubbies night gown. As I opened the door, I noticed a brand new play-house! I was so excited to get the house of my dreams that I screeched with happiness. The house was yellow with a blue roof, a pink door, and green shutters. That whole Christmas day consisted of me having a tea party with my dolls in my lovely house, keeping my sister out as best I could. I loved my new house so much that I slept in there that night. So when I’m asked about my favorite Christmas gift, my mind wanders back to the yellow play-house with the blue roof, pink door, and green shutters that holds the joyous memories of many years.

How I Found My Christmas Present

By Janae Champlin

 

Since I was a child, I have always been inquisitive, and wanting to know anything and everything. Whether I’m looking for my mom’s candy stash or my own Christmas present, I somehow I end up finding them.

For example, one December afternoon I was walking around my house trying to find something to do. I walked into the back bedroom and started rummaging through every drawer and closet in the bedroom when I came upon a plastic object that had been covered by some washcloths. Instead of pondering what it was, I just lifted up the cloth and saw a new Leap Pad game (which for me was very exciting). Afterwards, I put everything back in its place and shut the drawer right before my mom came upstairs and asked me what I was doing. I’m sure I replied with some amazing excuse of how I lost my doll (which happened quite often).

At Christmas time, when I opened up that very present, I put on my best “I’m really excited!” face and said “It’s just what I wanted!” My parents were very happy that I was pleased. I still haven’t told them until this day that I found one of my presents… Well, they’ll certainly find out once they read this.