New Year's Suggestions

By Siri McGuire

 

 

 

 

     I’ve never really partaken in the whole “New Year’s Resolutions” thing. I mean, let’s be real. How many people actually keep the New Year’s Resolutions that they make? I’m more of a self-reflection-all-year-round kind of gal, though I see how the New Year is a tangible marker of change for some people. However, most resolutions end up being more like suggestions, and are hardly ever carried out (to those of you who have stuck with New Year’s resolutions, kudos). So if I can operate on the basis that these resolutions are suggestions as opposed to mandatory tasks to carry out because I’ve signed away my first born child in blood, I suppose I can come up with a few suggested items of self-improvement for the next year:

Suggestion #1: Feel less stupid in Calculus class. The more I learn in that class, the less I feel like I know about math.

Suggestion #2: Establish whether or not reality is in fact real in Physics class. Some of the data I’ve collected in class points to the negative (discovering objects in free fall accelerating faster than acceleration due to gravity? What?!?!?!), but I still have hope that I’m living in reality and not in some Matrix-like situation. Either that or I should brush up on my lab/ calculation skills.

Suggestion #3: Figure out the meaning of life, the universe, and everything. I’ll get back to you guys on that one… umm… later.

Suggestion #4: Learn how to drive a stick shift without letting up on the clutch too quickly. 90% of all the cursing I’ve done in my life has happened while trying to do this.

Suggestion #5: Make it through senior year without developing senioritis. I’m doing pretty well so far, but come next semester, all bets are off.

Suggestion #6: Stress less about college. We all know this one is a joke, right? Come on guys, it’s me.

Suggestion #7: Successfully balance THREE textbooks on my head while walking through the halls. For those of you who’ve seen me practice this, two really pushes the limit for me right now. Just wait. By the end of next semester, I’ll be gliding around with three. I’m looking to go pro.

Suggestion #8: By this time next year, come up with a less-ridiculous list of self-improvement suggestions. But really. The majority of these are ridiculous.