The worst Christmas present I ever received consisted of a
portable CD player and a three foot long candy cane when I was seven years old.
I’m sure you’re all thinking, “What do you have against candy and music?” The
answer to that is nothing. I have absolutely nothing against candy and music. I
also have no longing for a portable CD player or a giant peppermint rock, which
is why this was the worst Christmas present I ever got. Now, I’m a reasonable
person and I know I’m hard to shop for. I’m so hard to shop for that I got
shampoo for my birthday one year, but that’s another story. I don’t like
telling people what to buy me and I don’t like for people to spend money on me,
which resulted in my parents having no clue what to get my seven year old self
for Christmas. As a result of their cluelessness, they decided to get me the
exact same thing as my sister, who expressed her Christmas wishes very clearly.
On Christmas morning my sister and I woke up to find our presents under the
tree. They weren’t wrapped because they were from “Santa”, and at first I
thought to myself “Why did they get Kayla two of each present?” When I found
that there was no other presents from “Santa” under the tree, I recognized the
catastrophe that had taken place. Although I was disappointed, I didn’t
complain because I knew that I hadn’t actually asked for anything for
Christmas, so I should be glad “Santa” even brought me something. I sucked it
up, gave Kayla my candy cane, and thanked “Santa” for my new CD player that I
couldn’t use because I didn’t own an actual CD. I still think it’s funny that
my parents didn’t get either of us a single CD to listen to.
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